true love

Love is what we are born with.Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us. 

— Marianne Williamson

to love yourself

{this post is a copy of this week's newsletter to my mailing list}

We have to know ourselves to know where we end and another person begins, and we have to develop the skills to navigate the space between us. Or else we will seek wholeness through false means that honor neither us nor those we love. ― Sharon Salzberg

Hello Love,

It's February already and with it comes all the Valentine's day hoopla on the profoundly misunderstood subject of love; I wish more of us used it as a time to reflect on our own self-love rather than measuring our worth with the timeliness of confection, floral arrangements and sparkly things. I do think all of those things are wonderful but really what could be good enough for someone as unique, brilliant, precious, beautiful and as layered as you? Only a star from the night sky could possibly do.

We spend a lot of time analyzing and weighing the love we receive from others; deciding what is valuable and what is not...forgetting that this kind of love is supposed to be a secondary resource. It is not something we are entitled to, but we still take it for granted, making it something we expect or something we use as a substitute for our own self-love... we want our parents to have loved us in line with our expectations, we want our children to love us without condition forever, we want our friends to see how much we do for them or to forgive how much we don't do and we want our partners to love us so much that we don't have to do the work of really loving ourselves.

We ignore the simple truth that all these different kinds of love can only take our hearts so far and we discover that - just like a boomerang - it all comes back to us again and again. We have to keep learning the same lessons about love until we start asking better questions of it; what if we decided to cultivate self-love as the primary source of love in our lives? What if we believed - without external validation - that we were worthy of our own unconditional love? What if our internal dialogue used the voice of self-compassion instead of an angry critic or that unkind person from the past?

What if we let the love we receive from others feel like a gift and we were grateful for it all?

When I started my {unfinished} journey with self-love, I didn't get it right away; was it narcissism? was it something esoteric? or was "love yourself" some new age tagline? I wondered how I could become a member of the self-love club without all the woo woo stuff. The answer turned out to be something far more pragmatic and linear... the answer was in the CHOICES I was making every day {dammit, not again!}.

Self-love does not happen IF or WHEN; self-love happens NOW.

We can decide - from one moment to the next - if the choice we're about to make is a point for self-love or a point for something else. And if it's not always self-love - that's okay; can we please make an effort to get more points up on the board anyway? Are we moving forward or are we standing still? Are we waiting for someone else to tell us our value or is that something we should be handling ourselves? You know my answer!

I knew the benefits of self-love were kicking in for me when:

  • it became easier to set boundaries + say a firm no
  • it didn't bother me if people liked me or not
  • I found it easy to choose my goals over other distractions
  • I stopped self-compromising without apology
  • making healthy choices felt important + right + easy
  • all the love in my life deepened + what wasn't serving me or poorly intended just seemed to fade out

When women tell me that they don't feel seen, heard and acknowledged, my next questions are usually... "Do you see yourself the way you want to be seen? Do you listen to yourself? And do you acknowledge all that you do?" It can be hard to own - more often than not - that how we treat ourselves is how we teach others to treat us, but owning this is also the most powerful stance we can take for our health and our happiness.

Until you decide to make self-love your primary* source of love, your sense of self will always be at the mercy of others and that may never be enough for you; leaving you with resentment and self-pity instead of... more and more... LOVE.

Warmly, Alicia.

note: (*) to my more religious and spiritual readers, my reference to a primary source is in keeping with my belief in God and the presence of something greater in our lives; I believe that we each hold a spark of divinity within us and that our thoughts, words and actions are either moving us closer to this infinite source of love or they are moving us away from it. Whether you call this by another name or by your own name, my hope is that your life is filled with the feeling of limitless love and that you know it all starts within.

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wellness workshops with charlotte caunter

In this winter workshop series, Charlotte Caunter and I discuss and teach effective holistic wellness principles to strengthen the mind, repair the body and activate the power of the heart. Each workshop takes a deeper look at our quality of life as women; exploring the impact of our unconscious programming, our inherited beliefs and the psychology of our choices on our every day lives.

The mind, body and heart are viewed through the lens of the subject of the workshop.

To claim your spot at one of our workshops please click one or more of the titles below.

We look forward to seeing you soon.

Warmly, Alicia.


THE DETOX WORKSHOP 01. 18

 

THE REBUILD WORKSHOP 01. 25

 

THE BALANCE WORKSHOP 02. 01

 

YOUR POWER WORKSHOP 02. 08

 

WE ARE SOLD OUT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST. I'D LOVE TO SEE YOU NEXT TIME...

◊ If you would like to be informed about future holistic wellness events, you can join the Plan {A} Holistic Life™ newsletter here 

◊ If you would like to be informed about future meditation events, you can join the Meditation Pusher™ newsletter here 

hello 2018

With every turn around the sun, I become more aware of the beauty, grace + abundance available to us in our every day lives. A New Year is so filled with opportunities to connect more deeply to ourselves, with each other, with nature + with the energy that surrounds us... 

I've learned that life does not have to be so difficult + feel so intense; we can untangle ourselves from the intricate web of our own thoughts, we can heal our own bodies + we can repair our own tender souls...

All of this is possible with deep inner work; the kind of inner work that takes patience, practice + purpose. The kind of inner work that shifts the mind out of the confines of the past, the darkness of self-pity + the fearful lens of scarcity.  The kind of inner work that strengthens the heart to lead the mind into the peace of the present, the power of self-worth, clarity, abundance + hope... 

The more we are present + the more deeply we breathe - the freer we feel. The world unfolds through the lens of our own perspective + if we consciously choose to see it all through a lens of love + compassion... our world becomes a better place...a brighter place.


To feel limitless, whole, calm + full of love + energy most of the time is to experience holistic wellness at its best.

Make this the year you discover that you are the most powerful person in your life.

Happy 2018.

Warmly, Alicia.

an exercise in presence

TRY: During the day, see if you can detect the bloom of the present moment in every moment, the ordinary ones, the “in-between” ones, even the hard ones. Work at allowing more things to unfold in your life without forcing them to happen and without rejecting the ones that don’t fit your idea of what “should” be happening. See if you can sense the “spaces” through which you might move with no effort... Notice how if you can make some time early in the day for being, with no agenda, it can change the quality of the rest of your day. By affirming first what is primary in your own being, see if you don’t get a mindful jump on the whole day and wind up more capable of sensing, appreciating, and responding to the bloom of each moment.

― Jon Kabat-Zinn; from the book Wherever You Go, There You Are

Hello Friends,

I've been working away on preparing for the launch of my Meditation Pusher™ brand in the New Year + planning events to connect with you more. I love creating these meaningful malas + wrist malas by hand for you; each time I cleanse + activate + deliver a piece I am transported to a place of bliss - Ānanda, because I know that this is the work I am meant to be doing right now... I create, I write, I communicate + I research...I work this love + I love this work. 

It has taken me a long time to arrive at this kind of clarity + none of  this would be possible without my meditation practice...the focus, the discipline, the non-attachment + the patience are all sustainable because I take my seat every day.

I cannot wait to teach you how to effectively do the same with Meditation Pusher™.

Warmly, Alicia.

For more info, you can follow Meditation Pusher™ on Instagram and Facebook.